Memories of Devotion
A journey through a ritualistic intimacy space of sacred, transpersonal devotion.
Earlier that day, we had been gathered in the morning circle where all facilitators had had one minute—a short and oft-rushed period of time—to describe their upcoming workshops as well as they could manage. One woman had refused the microphone she had been offered, and instead had kneeled and bowed down, slowly and deeply, until her forehead touched the floor. She had stayed like this for most of her allotted time, until at last she had risen to share, briefly, that we were to come with a partner, and to dress as would befit a temple space. Having thus finished her explanation, she had then given the floor to the next of her peers.
The women appeared in lingerie; some were moreover with soft fabrics adorned. Many men, myself included, came in kimonos. At the door, we met with our partners. Our voices were gently hushed, and we were thrice-blessed with incense; in this manner we were welcomed into the space. The evening sky had darkened; dim lights illuminated the room. Each pair approached a mattress in silence, as throughout the entire ceremony, with one exception, we were not to speak a word. Instead, as the woman who held the space suggested—her voice soft and slow, suffused with honour for the space's sacred nature—we would communicate with our partners through our eyes and our faculty of touch, guided throughout the evening by her instructions and her devotive disposition. Language, after all, befits only people; the body and the spirit form the tongue of the divine.
Once it was decided, mutely and mutually, who would go first, there came an undressing ritual for this person: holding their partner's gaze, they would slowly take off their clothes, shedding their protections, baring themselves whole. Their partner would then guide them onto the mattress, where they would lie on their back, a pillow below their neck to support them as they maintained eye contact at all times. While still meeting their gaze, their partner sat down at their feet, and would massage these, one foot after the other, as slowly and with as much devotion and respect as possible, honouring this divine consciousness and the years-touched temple of their body with slow caresses and warm coconut oil.
As priest or priestess to our partner, we would tune into the deep gift of their spiritual and physical nakedness, their openness and generosity in letting us honour the very feet that have carried them, supported them throughout their entire lives, brought them here, to now rest in our hands. Always one held the connection strong through one's gaze; at all times, a mute communication of devotion flowed from the giver to the receiver, who themselves in return conveyed their silent assent, their acknowledgment of their own divine nature, their acceptance of their inherent deservingness of this great spiritual service, and their agreement, as well as their gratitude, that said service should be rendered to them by you.
After the feet had been thoroughly massaged and oiled, the priest or priestess would hold them with their warm hands, to ground the divine being in their present experience. The divine being, still lying on their back, would then open their legs, making space for the priest or priestess to sit closer, a movement that they performed without interrupting their connective gaze. After this eye contact had been kept alive a little longer, affirming that the shared bond would remain sustained, the priest or priestess would slowly draw their gaze down across the divine being's nude body, passing over the divine yoni or the divine lingam in front of them as they knelt down until, in their worship, their forehead made contact with the soft mattress. They would feel into the rare honour they were being shown; humbled that such beauty should exist, and that one should be allowed to mutely express and embody one's great admiration. Slowly, the priest or priestess would then lift their head, until finally their gaze met their partner's sex: the physical embodiment of their divinity; the god or goddess from which they draw their power, their pleasure, their vitality; this earthly expression of pure masculinity, of pure femininity; sacred concepts made real, materialised and showing themselves before the priest's or priestess' eyes.
He, that may be enfolded, and enter.
She, that may enfold, and be entered.
For some timeless duration, the experience flows through them. Should the priest or priestess now feel so moved, they may, either mutely or in unheard whispers, express unto this sex a prayer. A prayer of admiration; of devotion; of wonder; of joy; of desire; of pleasure; of gratitude; of worship. A transpersonal prayer, too, for all the yonis and lingams in the world; a prayer for all the ways one has themselves been honoured with pleasure from a sex such as the one in front of them; a prayer for all the hurt and shame and repression this yoni or lingam may have been victim to in life. A prayer of empowerment; a prayer for all the pleasure this yoni or lingam may yet bring its owner as well as all those whom it may yet so bless. For the divine being, this is a time of witnessing oneself being honoured; of receiving the honour their sacred sex has always been deserving of; of being seen in one's deepest nakedness; of being worshipped in this so deeply that any questions around acceptedness or even lovedness may fall away; of enjoying the profound respect, admiration, and gratitude that have always been their due.
A yoni might get wet or dry, and in this wetness or dryness be worshipped; a lingam might get hard or soft, and in this hardness or softness be worshipped. The priest's or priestess' prayer is spoken too softly for ears to hear, if indeed it is spoken aloud at all, and may instead be energetically heard and felt within one's sex: all the love and respect that your partner has for your yoni or your lingam, may be witnessed, felt, integrated, and relished.
Some part of you has always needed to receive this.
Some part of you has always needed to give this.
In an old tongue, the word for "cock" is the word for "sword." Male sexuality, already physically invasive, is often framed as a dangerous thing; the pleasures it gives, rarely expressed; the pain it can wreak, an everyday topic—for men and women alike. Hardness seems often a promise; at worst, it may be a threat. Insofar as it is the former, only one's partner may decide if it is the latter too. In this sense, violence is inherent to it, implicit within the question hardness poses; a framing, of course, that one hopes will always be rejected, but often all such rejections are done by people who are already aroused, who are in some sense not as they normally are. In this non-sexual space it was different: here hardness was received not as its own interpretation, but merely as itself. Thus freed from its usual burdens and vulnerabilities, the beauty, the power, and indeed the great innocence of the cock were rediscovered, as it was restored to its throne and blessed with worship, love, and awe.
To his partner’s yoni, this author expressed a prayer himself. It was not meant even for her ears; as such, it is not for the reader's either. But if the reader nevertheless desires to devise a private reverie of the author's reverence, they may assume that in his worship of the yoni he surely would not have neglected to venerate her graceful and flowerlike nature, the way her blossomlike unfolding reflects the divine being's own unfurling body and spirit. Nor would the yoni's sirenlike softness, with its shy source of so much of her owner's bliss, have escaped him. In seeing her openness, he might have been struck by her vulnerability, or by her power, or indeed by her great capacity for love. Perhaps he saw in her a promise of warm comfort, of delectable pleasure, or of a deep and nourishing rest. Maybe it was a promise of coming home: of coming back to purpose, to love, to life. He might have regarded nature's proud and sacred jewel as a symbol of goodness and rightness; a beauty so immense it is its own vindication. He may for a moment have wondered at the confusion of those to whom their yonis seem not blessed, and he may have spared a thought for all yonis that have felt burdened or been mistreated. In imagining his prayer, one might reckon he wished for restfulness and fulfillment to come to her; or for all of the tensions and worries that she might hold, to melt away; or for her to full-heartedly seek, and receive, all the gentleness and all the fierceness that she may desire. It is moreover plausible that he prayed for her to be empowered by others in her greatness; for her to empower, with her own greatness, those whom this divine being deems deserving; and for her to continue to bestow upon this being a life-long feast of pleasure, fulfillment, and lovedness.
Indeed these things, and others, may be imagined. But besides mercurial memory and the connection's energy, only the air there heard what words were spoken.
Having expressed their prayer to the divine being's sex, the priest or priestess would finally resume eye contact with them, and would move to sit behind this person's head, taking their head into their lap as they bent forward and, wetting their fingers with warm coconut oil, massaged this divine being's chest, heart, and neck, with warmth and gentleness. After this, some moments of silence were shared as both people would let the holiness of this experience sink into their bodies; the sacred vision embedding itself amongst the memories of the priest or priestess, while the profound empowerment of the divine being remained felt as a warm ember, cherished within their heart. Finally, without perturbing the sacredness of this experience with words, each pair would switch roles, and a second undressing ritual would begin.
After all worship and devotion had come to a close, an assortment of candles that inhabited the room were lit, to illuminate the space with their warm and spirited movements, inviting us to leave the realm of sacredness behind us and to come back to ourselves. We were given some precious minutes to let the experience sink in; to connect with our partners; to express and receive our various gratitudes; and briefly to share whatever intimacies felt right and good. After this, we redressed ourselves, covering our bodies and restoring ourselves from our long nakedness, and slowly we made to leave the space.
Amazing post!
"Language, after all, befits only people; the body and the spirit form the tongue of the divine." & "As priest or priestess to our partner, we would tune into the deep gift of their spiritual and physical nakedness, their openness and generosity in letting us honour the very feet that have carried them, supported them throughout their entire lives, brought them here, to now rest in our hands." are lovely